Tuesday, May 11, 2010
With my research on the impact of text messaging within dating relationships I found that texting can do more harm than good when used between romantic prospects. Texting causes increased insecurity and misinterpretations that can even lead to the dissolution of a relationship. According to the participants in this study, the impact texting has within dating relationships is predominantly negative, and as one male stated, "people have no balls anymore." This statement translates into the fact that people feel less comfortable being themselves and feel uncomfortable speaking on the phone, which may also impact their ability to interact in face-to-face situations. Texting has lessened our humility by making it easier to lie, break up with someone or be a flake via text messages. This phenomenon has allowed our society to become less personal, more casual about dating and created an environment where we are less accountable for our actions. In terms of convenience and efficiency, technology has brought us to incredible places and has drastically changed the medical and business worlds for the better. However, the impact technology has had interpersonally has in a sense brought us together because reaching someone is so easy, but also injured our humanistic abilities to interact with one another.
According to the research, texting should be used as sparingly as possible within romantic relationships, especially in the beginning stages. Using it when necessary, but having face-to-face contact and discussions through calling could do contemporary dating a world of good.
Reba McEntire - Why Haven't I Heard From You
I love country music, there's something amazingly refreshing about how simple the lyrics and the concepts behind the music are. The simplicity and the straight-forwardness of the country, the singers and the people is incredible. Here's Reba singing about the concept of using the telephone, with one really silly video.
Shiny disco balls and late night booty calls
While discussing texting and how it has changed our society one friend said, "How did booty calls ever exist without cell phones?? Did you have to just chance it and show up at their house and hope they were home...and home alone? Or find a pay phone and call their house line seeking late night sexy time? Or maybe people just had more dignity and respect for each other back then to not use people merely as a means for sex...ya that's gotta be it." If she's right, texting, pagers, and mobile phones have allowed for our society to be so on call that we can now have a lower moral standing for sex within relationships.
But its more likely that late night booty calls always occurred and you just met the person at the club or the bar and it fell into place in the moment, rather than seeking it out digitally. So in essence, booty calls are just more convenient now with mobile phones, who needs someone new when you can call up an old flame from last weekend.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Totally Clueless
One of my favorite movies of all time. I can recite basically every line. I remember wanting a cell phone in the worst way because theirs was attached to their ears constantly.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I questioned the interviewees about how they feel technology has changed dating as a whole. Some of the results I found were that technology allows easier access to everyone, which can be both a positive and a negative. It is positive because we are much more connected socially and business wise; at the click of a button we can reach anyone at any time. The down side to this is that it takes away our autonomy in a way, because we are never unreachable and we have become more dependent on constant communication. It has also allowed for less privacy, we have all information about others available at our fingertips with social networking sites. Dating has become less stable due to the insecurity and misinterpretations through texting
I was also curious to find out how people have seen a change in courtship and romanticism with the popularity of text messaging. The response I received was that courtship has become much less personal and much less humane. People can easily end a conversation with little social decency by simply not responding to a text and because the communication is through typing, there are few repercussions for rudeness and there is no sparing of feelings. The respondents stated that they felt that people are much flakier now, you can easily text someone and cancel last minute, where as before when you would have to call and leave a message on their home answering machine. It would be incredibly disrespectful to leave someone hanging at a restaurant waiting for you if you just left a message on their home phone and didn't show up, knowing that they wouldn't get the message until later. However, now they can get that message immediately. Therefore, flakiness is more acceptable and people do not need to be as accountable for their actions.
According to both male and female respondents, late night booty calls are much more acceptable now that text messaging is the main portal of communication. When people are out at the bars they can send or receive a text seeking a booty call at the drop of a hat and it's not seen as intrusive as calling someone in regards to a booty call.
A male respondent describes that with texting in the picture now he can send a mass text message to multiple girls that may be down for a late night hookup and see who responds and take his pick of the girls that are interested. He also stated that he can lie over text and tell a girl that he can't hang out because he's at dinner with his mom and his grandma, but really be on a date with another girl, and no one would ever know the difference.
A female respondent stated that she feels that with texting there is no chivalry or romanticism any longer. "No men bring flowers anymore or get out of the car to walk you to the door anymore." This is because of the laid back nature of courtship in today's society, the formalities of dating are no longer enforced.
Anxiousness and insecurity in regards to texting
One of the issues I wanted to address through my research was the levels anxiousness and insecurity level within dating relationships with the growing popularity of technology and if these factors had been altered at all.
Both sexes stated that in terms of insecurity, social networking sites such as Facebook can cause jealousy and insecurity within romantic relationships. Also, when people do not respond right away with text messages it creates insecurity because most everyone expects an immediate answer with texting. People don't take into account that the person could be in the shower or on the treadmill and are unable to respond, we instead are stricken with insecurity that they are choosing to ignore us.
Regarding anxiousness differentiation between texting and calling when waiting for a response, the majority of participants reported that they felt far more anxiousness when waiting for a response to a text message than a phone call. The increase in anxiousness is due to the fact that society as a whole is capable of responding to a text message at any time, even if they are multitasking, but a phone call takes more time and undivided attention.
Thumbs up.
I get a kick outta these little faces, they're the silliest. The dancing one looks exactly like my friend Kelly when she dances, the facial expression and dance moves match to a T.
To be vague or not to be vague...
When asked if they felt that communication can get misconstrued or misinterpreted over text messaging the participants answered YES!!
They stated that the tone of the message is hard to define because the sound of the person's voice and non-verbal cues are absent and you are just left with plain text to interpret. A simple text can be read in a way unintended by the sender, in turn hurting someone's feelings or causing confusion where there need not be. Everything in text messages is taken at face value because of the loss of the subtleties and things can be taken out of context and misconstrued. One female participant stated that she has had many experiences with sexual innuendos within text messages getting misinterpreted by the receiver and that can create a whole mess of drama for no reason.
All participants agreed that adding expressive emoticons to text messages can add clarity to text messaging and more accurately get the tone and the intention of the message across to the receiver.
Undivided Attention
Let's run away together and escape from the outside world. Just you and I.
I want your undivided attention.
My interviewees reported that as commitment in a romantic relationship increases, texting is no longer the main portal for communication between the partners. They claimed that they like to hear the person's voice more often when they become more serious with them, however texting is still used a lot because throughout the day because the two people keep in constant contact through text messages. Texting is used to keep each other updated on the events of the day and to let the other person know that you're thinking of them. Also, because there is an increased amount of face-to-face interaction with increased commitment, there are more opportunities to communicate with the absence of technology.
The participants in my interviews reported on the form of media they preferred to use when initiating a date with someone of romantic interest. The responses from both men and women strongly favored texting over any other type of media. The reasons stated for texting being the choice for date initiation were that with texting you can craft your message carefully and control your side of the interaction better than calling. Overall people felt more at ease with texting and less vulnerable when asking someone out, the rejection stings much less when the discussion is occurring via text, and texting was reported as much more casual than calling.
Both men and women also reported that they felt that they could get to know their romantic prospect through texting throughout the day and that the text rallies makes dating more fun and exciting. It has now become the norm to have a text rally with someone of romantic interest very often to make life more interesting and keep boredom at bay, both men and women stated that when they don't have that interaction often, they feel lonelier.
However, even though each participant preferred using text messaging, they all claimed that they felt that calling someone for a date is a much better form of communication and wish that it were "still socially acceptable". Each person reported that calling is a much better method in this case because you can get a sense of how the person actually feels about going out with you by the tone in their voice, which gets lost via texting. Calling was also said to be much more personal and shows that you are very interested in that person. Unfortunately, calling now has a stigma attached, one male stated that "no one calls anymore, calling is too forward." People feel that calling someone to ask them out in today's society makes them seem too eager and over steps boundaries. This is why texting is preferred in courtship, it is a more laid back approach at dating. Every person reported that they can save face through texting; if rejection occurs they can monitor their emotions and reaction.
Both sexes also stated that they now feel less comfortable making a phone call in general now that texting has become so prevalent. Having voice on voice conversations has become ridden with an awkwardness stigma now that texting is our go-to form of communication. Most people also reported having people in their social networks that are so uncomfortable having a phone conversation that they will never pick up the phone when others call, and instead will text them immediately after to ask "what's up?".
Hit me with a text.
When asking my interviewees about which form of media they preferred to use when contacting a plutonic friend I found that generally people tend to prefer using texting as their contacting method during the day because with texting people can answer at any time. If others are busy or cannot talk on the phone due to being at work, they can easily engage in a text conversation without disrupting their activities. Texting was also said to be quite handy for having a short and sweet conversation, whereas phone discussions are lengthy and time consuming.
One aspect that all participants stated was that they preferred talking on the phone to family members and really close friends much more than texting them, and due to the time commitment, those conversations occur less often. They reported that texting was used much more with acquaintances because with texting as opposed to calling, the awkward level is at an all time low. But they favored texting as a means of daily communication over phone calls because you can answer or receive a text right away and be in constant contact with anyone throughout the day no matter what both people are engaged in.
Social networking sites, such as Facebook were also found to be useful in contacting friends, however, the participants reported that they used Facebook to reach out to those they rarely are in contact with; acquaintances, and would just post silly things on their close friends' walls just for kicks. Social networking sites bring a less immediate response whereas texting is much more speedy.
Tweeting, blogging, texting. Remember when we just talked to each other??
To begin the interview process I asked the participants how often per week they used texting as their contacting method. All of the participants replied that they used texting all day everyday and could not provide me with a ball park number of texts per week because texting is used so frequently in their daily lives.
I followed up this question with asking how often per week they used calling as their contacting method and all participants answered that they use calling a few times throughout the day to contact those in their social network, but calling is used far less than texting on a daily basis. I found that calling was used mainly for work purposes or necessary long conversations on a daily basis.
And so it begins...
This blog is dedicated to my research on the effect texting has on communication within interpersonal relationships. With the boom of technology our communication within our society has vastly changed. Today we rely on emailing, social networking sites, mobil phones, instant messaging and video chatting among other arenas to contact each other. And my curiosity lead me to ask the question: since we have become so heavily dependent on technology has our interpersonal communication suffered?
I chose to focus mainly on text messaging within romantic relationships and specifically dating relationships to get an insight about how romanticism, courtship and daily communication has been altered with this explosion of text messaging usage as a means to contact one another.
I performed a series of interviews to probe those on the dating scene for their opinions and this is what I found...
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